Whew! It’s about time I sit down and do some blogging. I have been in the process of starting my own photography business and finally got it launched a few weeks ago!  It was a lot more work to get it up and running than I expected.  But it feels good to have it done so now I can do what I really want to do… take pictures! My new website is www.chelseynicholsphotography.com if you want to check it out.  Besides being busy getting the photography business going, I have also had a serious case of writer’s block.  The combination of the two has kept me away for over a month! I’m really not sure if it is cured yet, so hopefully you aren’t expecting anything too insightful from this brain today.  

I wish I could say that since you haven’t heard from me in a while, it means that no news is good news. Unfortunately, that is not the case.  It turns out that I’m still not pregnant. Sigh! Besides the usual disappointment we experience each month, Corey and I have also found ourselves at a bit of a crossroads this month.  For the past 6 months, we have been doing the clomid / follicle ultrasound / IUI /progesterone process.  We did our first 6 month round of clomid a year and a half ago, got pregnant while taking it but ended up having a miscarriage.  My doctor suggested we try another round of clomid, this time adding in IUI and progesterone and monitoring me with monthly follicle ultrasounds. Well, May was our 6th month of round 2, which means after this month, no more clomid.  The fact that I have not gotten pregnant again in 14 months with all of this help also begs the question, “why?”  I mean we found out I had PCOS and have been treating it, I’ve been taking clomid and my ovaries have seemed to respond to it really well, my eggs have looked good nearly every month, sperm counts have been great, we have done 2 IUI's and I’ve been taking progesterone.  Everything seemed to be falling into place perfectly and the odds were in our favor. But I’m still not pregnant. 

My mind can’t help but wonder if there is something else going on.  I know my doctor is wondering the same thing.  Basically the only 2 things we have not yet ruled out are blocked fallopian tubes and endometriosis. The next step is going to be an HSG (hysterosalpingogram) procedure that I will have done tomorrow afternoon at the hospital.  This is a test where they inject dye into the uterus and fallopian tubes and take X-rays to check for blockage and also make sure the uterus is not an abnormal shape.  Apparently sometimes the test itself can clear some mild blockage, so that is what I am hoping for. Well, that or no blockage at all!  If the test shows moderate to complete blockage on both sides, we will most likely be heading to Little Rock or Tulsa to meet with with an infertility specialist to discuss our options.  If this is the case, an exploratory laparotomy to look for endometriosis and attempt to clear the tubes would probably be in my near future. We shall see.  Sometimes the blockage can be cleared and sometimes it cannot.  I’m trying not to think too far ahead or worry about all the different “what ifs.” It won’t do me any good! For now I am just focusing on the matter at hand, praying for a smooth procedure and good results and remembering that God has this whole situation in His hands.  He always has and He always will.  I have to remind myself that no efforts to get pregnant on our part will be successful unless God wills it.  He may be the one preventing it from happening for one reason or another. His ways are not our ways and His thoughts are not our thoughts.  Isaiah 55:8.  But I trust that He is good and holy and that He always has my best interest at heart, even when the road He has me on is not the road I would have chosen for myself.

Corey and I would greatly appreciate your prayers during this time of transition.  I have a feeling we are going to be needing to make some big decisions in the coming weeks.  We desperately need godly wisdom and guidance.  We are hoping for either clear answers or clear direction on where we need to go next. Also, I would ask you to please pray for strength and patience for me physically. Sometimes I get so tired of so much being done to my body! I have to take many medications with unpleasant side effects, have monthly vaginal ultrasounds, occasional blood draws, IUI’s and other procedures….it can be very draining and there is no end in sight. 

 Thank you all so much! I will definitely keep you updated.