Hello, it's me again!  But of course you already know that since this is my blog. I should have a guest writer sometime to switch it up on you.  I'm sure he/she would prove to be much more interesting than me anyway.  I'll look into that :) But for now, I hope anyone and everyone who reads this post had a fantastic weekend!  I for one had a great weekend in Branson with my hubby and our dear friends, Andrew and Page.  We ate, shopped, ate, rode amusement park rides, ate... you get the idea. It was such a blast, but boy am I tired right now. I can't complain though, because overall I'm doing pretty good, as long as I don't think about a rapidly approaching momentous event called 'my 30th birthday.'  To be honest, I have been dreading it for quite some time, and now it is almost here. But there is good news! I have figured out a way to literally numb the pain of turning 30.  You do what I'm going to do, you have surgery on your birthday!  I know you may not initially think this sounds like an awesome idea, but consider this... I will be knocked out for part of the day in a deep slumber and when I wake up I will be on pain pills with my hubby as my own personal nurse taking care of me.  Also, I don't have to cook for like a week! That in itself is stinkin awesome! Doesn't sound too bad after all, does it?  Maybe in my medication induced euphoria I won't even realize I turned 30.  If by chance I do realize it.... maybe I won't care! That's what I'm hoping for. Trying to look on the bright side, folks!  But on a more serious note, as much as I would love for that to be the case, I am smart enough to know that eventually my little dream world will wear off and my hubby will go back to work and I will have to face the painful reality...  I'm 30 and still not pregnant.  Thats a tough one, because I have always had this unspoken timeline deep in my mind..."at least if I'm pregnant by the time I'm 30."  But thats not how God works. He doesn't go by our schedules and deadlines.  He is not limited by our ideas about how long we are fertile and at what point our eggs are too old.  Look at Sarah, look at Elizabeth.  There is still hope for me.  

Like my 30th birthday, this surgery has been out ahead of us for a while now and we have known it was probably coming.  With each passing month of negative pregnancy tests, it kept creeping closer and closer and becoming more and more likely. Now the time has come where we feel like it needs to happen and we should just get it over with. So on Wednesday, July 30th at 1 p.m., I will be having an 'exploratory laparoscopy' to rule out endometriosis.  I will likely have 2 small incisions on my lower abdomen and 1 in my belly button.  My abdominal cavity will be inflated with gas to push the wall of my abdomen away from the organs, which will allow my doctor to see everything more clearly. If he finds areas of endometriosis, they will be removed either my cutting or by a laser.  I will also be having another procedure done at the same time called 'ovarian drilling.'  Sounds awful, I know.  This is where tiny holes will be drilled all over my ovaries to drain out the PCOS cysts that I have.  My right ovary is especially prone to these.  It currently looks like a bunch of grapes.  The goal after drilling is that the ovaries will then function better, produce good eggs, promote hormonal balance, etc.  The recovery from all of this is expected to be around a week, with the first couple of days being the worst.  I am hopeful that I will have a quick recovery and be back on my feet in no time!  

Corey and I are both anxious to know what this surgery will show. We can't help but think there is more going on in there than we know.  I mean I already have PCOS, so why not throw in some endometriosis, too?? (she says very sarcastically)!!! It has been 16 months since I was pregnant last and we have been doing everything medically possible to get there. With the exception of a few months here and there, everything has appeared ideal... but we still haven't conceived. So truthfully, we are just hoping for some answers and praying that if endometriosis is present, treating it will be the key to us finally getting and staying pregnant.  

As much as I am not looking forward to the surgery or the recovery, I do have an unusual sense of peace about it.  I know that is from God. It could only be from God.  We have been praying for His guidance and direction and feel He has led us to this point. I believe this is part of His plan and I pray it might be a part where He reveals some things to us.  Maybe it will be, maybe it won't. Either way, I will keep praising Him for who He is and for all He has done for undeserving little me.  I know without a doubt that He will be with me every second of the surgery day.  I know He will give wisdom to Dr. Hix and his team. I like to picture Him directing their hands.  I know He will calm any nerves Corey might have as he waits.  I have to keep reminding myself of everything I learned a few weeks ago about His faithfulness in our trials.  He is maturing me, sanctifying me and purifying me.  He is good and He is somehow working out good in my life through this.  And because of that, I know its going to be ok... even when I'm thirty.