I can tell you for certain that today's blog post is absolutely the most exciting one for me to write in my time as a blogger thus far!  I get to share with you that we transferred 2 very healthy embryos into my body yesterday!!!!  I cannot explain to you the joy, relief and gratitude we are feeling! I just had to come right out and tell you. Now I will go on to explain what all transpired :) 

We got up early yesterday morning to head to Little Rock, not knowing how many of our embryos were still alive and well, if any at all.  I think we were both equally uneasy and ecstatic!  We were expecting a call from the doctor around 8:30 to tell us the news of how our embryos were doing and if we needed to keep heading south or turn around and go home, but that call never came.  We got to the office around 9:15, and that's when we got the news that we had 2 embryos that made it and were doing really well.  They told us that they were in the morula stage & we would be able to transfer them both!  We were thrilled!  Mr. Einstein the embryologist (really his name) said we also had one other one that was still hanging in there and he wanted to watch it another day to see if it would continue developing and be able to be frozen.  So we for sure had 2 healthy embryos, maybe even 3. What a relief!!  There is always a little bit of fear that you are going to go through all of this and end up with no embryos to transfer.  That would be so horrible and I feel truly awful for anyone who that has happened to.

We changed into fashionable hospital gowns and hats and then they took us back into the procedure room.  The embryologist came in and said he had good news for us!  Apparently between the time he looked at the embryos that morning and the time of the procedure, one of the little guys (or girls) ;) had changed from a morula to a blastocyst, which is even better!  The blastocyst stage is as good as it can get. So we ended up with one morula and one blastocyst by go time. The doctor came in and started first by doing an ultrasound to look at my uterus and ovaries.  He said my ovaries were swollen and enlarged, but not to the point of hyperstimulation. Luckily they are not bad enough to be a concern to my health or a pregnancy, but that if I do get pregnant, they will remain enlarged for at least the first trimester due to the hormones being produced by the pregnancy. This was another relief! I was right on the verge of hyperstimulation, but fortunately it was able to be controlled and has not interfered with the process too much.  It did cause us a few scares and worries along the way, but other than some continued mild cramping and bloating, I now seem to be in the clear.  He also looked at my uterine lining and said it was 11mm.  Ideally they like it to be between 8-13mm, so that was perfect!  

They took a picture of the embryos right before they were transferred and gave it to us.  The one on the left is the morula and the right is the blastocyst.  Pretty amazing, huh?! :)

Next, he began scanning my uterus to see exactly where he thought the best spot to place the embryos was going to be. Once he decided, he put in a speculum and threaded a catheter through my cervix and into my uterus.  The embryologist then came back in with the 2 embryos loaded into a syringe which was attached to the end of the catheter.  He then gently pushed them in.  We got to watch it all on ultrasound while it was happening. You could actually see the embryos go from the catheter into my uterus!  We were in absolute amazement and trying to take it all in.  I never want to forget what a special moment that was... staring at that monitor with Corey's hand on my shoulder, seeing these tiny little beings that are a mixture of us now being back where they belong.  I pray that my body will nurture and comfort them and prove to be a place they want to settle in and stay!  After the procedure, I laid flat for 30 minutes, and then they sent us home.  The last step in the IVF process was now complete! 

Here is the ultrasound picture.  The bright white circle that the arrow is pointing to is the embryos inside my uterus!  

I have been ordered by my doctor, husband, mom... and pretty much everyone to take it very easy these few days following the transfer. No leaving the house, no cleaning or cooking, no lifting anything over 10 pounds and lots of laying around.  Even though I am a busy body and absolutely terrible at not doing anything for an extended period of time, I am doing pretty good so far.  It is a lot easier when you have this much on the line!  Talk about motivation.  I'm sure most normal people would be grateful for this opportunity.  I'm trying!  

We did get a call this morning letting us know that the 3rd embryo did not make it.  This was bittersweet, but having 3 was simply not God's plan and we accept that.  As relieved and happy we are that I officially have 2 babies on board, we know that this trial is not over yet. These embryos were put in, but they still have to implant into my uterus on their own. And even then, we've had 2 pregnancies in the past where the embryos did implant, but we still ended up losing them both regardless.  For me, getting pregnant is only half the battle.  All we can hope is that this time will be different, that we won't have to experience the bitter pain of miscarriage once again. Our broken hearts have been slowly pieced back together several times over the past 4 years. This time I desperately want to experience heartbeats and kicks and cravings and even morning sickness if it means a healthy baby or babies! Infertility is always going to be a part of who I am, I know that.  I will never forget the babies we lost, all the tears I have cried and feelings I have felt or the absolute wringer I have put my body through. I will never forget all I have learned and how much I have seen God throughout this trial.  But I'm ready to move on.  I hope with all my heart that this is the time God has always been planning to answer our prayers for children.  He is very good at writing happy endings to painful and messy stories.  (See: the entire Bible) 

These next 2 weeks before we know for sure that I am pregnant, I am going to do my best to focus on praying over these sweet new lives inside of me.  It will be a struggle not to let Satan and his lies creep in.  I know how weak and vulnerable I can be to anxiety and fear.  But I know from experience that when I feel those burdens coming down on me and begin to pray in Jesus' name, He removes them and covers me instead in a blanket of His peace and assurance of His sovereignty.  I gotta keep looking up!  "But he said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness."  Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may rest upon me."  2 Corinthians 12:9 

I feel like there is so much more I want to say, but my thoughts are all over the place right now.  I'm sure I'll have plenty of time to write again once I've collected them in the days and weeks to come! Plus, I've already written a book tonight...so I better stop.  I always plan to keep it short, but it never happens.  I also often feel like a broken record, but I'm going to say it again anyway... I appreciate your love and prayers so much!  Please keep it up. I promise you are making a big difference in my life!