"There is a time for everything,
and a season for every activity under the heavens:

a time to be born and a time to die,

a time to plant and a time to uproot,

a time to kill and a time to heal,

a time to tear down and a time to build,

a time to weep and a time to laugh,

a time to mourn and a time to dance,

a time to scatter stones and a time to gather them,

a time to embrace and a time to refrain from embracing,

a time to search and a time to give up,

a time to keep and a time to throw away,

a time to tear and a time to mend,

a time to be silent and a time to speak,

a time to love and a time to hate,

a time for war and a time for peace.


What do workers gain from their toil? I have seen the burden God has laid on the human race. He has made everything beautiful in its time. He has also set eternity in the human heart; yet no one can fathom what God has done from beginning to end. I know that there is nothing better for people than to be happy and to do good while they live. That each of them may eat and drink, and find satisfaction in all their toil—this is the gift of God. I know that everything God does will endure forever; nothing can be added to it and nothing taken from it. God does it so that people will fear Him." Ecclesiastes 3:1-14

Today has got to be one of the strangest days of my life, knowing that later on I will receive news that will cause this to be one of the happiest or one of the hardest days I have known on this earth! It will be one extreme or the other. I have had days before where I've had a very sick loved one and I knew that each day could be their last and I was anticipating heartbreak. I have also had days where I knew the man I loved might pop the question and for a while I woke up each day with anticipation of the excitement & celebration that was just around the corner. But I've never had both to this extent before. I feel like I'm about to burst, but will it be with tears of joy or tears of sorrow?

This morning as I was praying, the words of this verse came into my mind. Soon we will know whether this is a time to weep or a time to laugh, a time to mourn or a time to dance. But what stood out to me most in this verse as I read it was the sentence "He has made everything beautiful in its time." No matter what today brings, He has the ability to not only make the laughing and the dancing beautiful, but the weeping and mourning, too. This could very well be the last day of our infertility trial and I cannot tell you the burden that would be lifted if that is the case. I can hardly remember what it is like to be out from under it. But this trial may go on and if so, I can say boldly that He will somehow make it beautiful, because that is what He promises in His Word. What do we gain from our toil? He makes everything beautiful in His time. When you are a child of God, nothing you endure will ever be in vain. That truth brings comfort to my restless heart.

I am ready to know what my reality is because I cannot keep on in limbo much longer.  At this point, I am either with child or I am not and no amount of waiting and wondering is going to change that.  If I'm not pregnant, I would rather know than continue to have false hope that I am. And if I am pregnant, I would rather know than continue to fear that I'm not.  There will be closure one way or the other.  There will also be extreme amounts of emotion, but still closure.  

I wasn't planning to blog today, but I had these things on my heart and needed to say them because I know I could very well be too ecstatic or too weak over the next few weeks to even think straight.  I know so many people are praying for us, I can feel it.  And I know it won't stop no matter what news today brings.  What a blessing!  I bet there are people reading this who may also need the encouragement of this verse today. If you find yourself  in a time of mourning or weeping, know that that it is not permanent and that He will make it beautiful. You will laugh and dance again.  You and I both will!