WHOA!!  It has been over 10 days since my last post!  How did that happen? Where did the time go?  Well, I guess I have a pretty good idea how that happened.  The past few weeks have been spent finishing one job, trying to start a new one, beginning a bible study with lots of homework, dog sitting, going to multiple doctor’s appointments, cooking, cleaning, traveling to Alabama, fighting a cold, worship team practicing, and trying to be a somewhat present wife, daughter and friend. It has been a whirlwind of a month so far! But I must remind myself that it is mostly good things and I should be grateful. And I truly am grateful.  My mind is just going in several different directions and blogging got unintentionally placed on the back burner.  But I’m back!  

A few weeks ago, I mentioned that Corey and I had decided not do any fertility drugs this month to see if I would ovulate on my own now that the PCOS seems to be under control. We were very hopeful that it would happen as we both feel the PCOS has likely been our biggest obstacle to getting pregnant.  I went in for my 1st follicle ultrasound earlier this month and there were no mature follicles.  Then I went back in several days later and there were still zero follicles.  So, unfortunately it didn’t work like we hoped it would!  (sad face....)  Back to the fertility drugs we go. At least now we know that my ovaries do still need some stimulation. So now what we have to decide is, should we do a lower dose of clomid or a new drug called femora?  And should we also do IUI or wait a few more months? Decisions, decisions.  IUI (intrauterine insemination) is a procedure where a sample of my husband’s sperm would be released into my uterus via a catheter.  I would take the fertility drugs like usual days 5-9 of my cycle and then go in for a follicle ultrasound around day 14.  If 3 or less mature follicles were present, the doctor would give me an HCG shot which would trigger my body to release the eggs, a.k.a ovulation. Then the sample of sperm would be washed and separated.  I understand that to mean the most motile sperm are selected and concentrated into a smaller volume.  Then it would be put into a catheter and the doctor would put through my cervix and into my uterus where the sperm would be released.  The idea is that by bypassing the cervix and increasing the number of sperm cells that are placed in the uterus, the chance of conception is greater. We love the idea of increasing our chances, but hate the idea of it being so unnatural.  We’d love nothing more than to conceive a child in the privacy of our own bedroom!  

Please pray for wisdom in these decisions!  We don’t want to do anything without God’s hand on it.  Corey and I were talking the other night and I told him that one of the most frustrating things to me is how many times we’ve had to start over in this journey.  After our first miscarriage we had to start back at square 1, after our 2nd miscarriage we had to start back at square 1 and after the PCOS diagnosis we had to start back at square 1.  And now 3 years later it feels like we’ve hardly done anything, but wait…and wait…and wait. We are both growing very impatient. Many people would have probably done much more aggressive treatments by now.  But three different times we had to start over as if we had just begun trying.  Even though our bodies may have reset, our hearts sure didn’t.  We feel every bit of those 3 years weighing on us.  All we want is for the weight to be lifted.  And we pray it will be SOON.